What a week

I really have had a shit of a week ! Don't care if you can't swear on here it is the only way to describe my week. Tuesday was so hot l simply just did not go outside the house. I was suppose to go and have lunch with my good friend Christine but l just could not be bothered. I found out that l didn't get the job l had gone for a Harvey Norman last week. Again, they felt that l was over qualified. Can there but such a thing ? It is so tempting to make up a resume and say that l have been a stay at home Mum or something like that for the last ten years. I think it has far more to do with men being intimidated by me. I get the feeling that they think if they employ me l might take their job. Damn straight l would. I am sick to death of men who think they are so good. Hmmm....stop grumbling Tracey. God must have a plan for you ! Believe girl.

Wednesday l went to Christine's house and cleaned for four hours. That is what she wanted. She didn't really want to see me. She just knows that l'm not working at the moment and that l like to clean. I find cleaning very therapeutic. All she had to do was ask me to clean instead of pretending to give a damn. There was no way l was going to tell her how stressed l am about money. There was no way l was going to tell her that l have no money. I told her it was all good that l would clean for her as a favour. Hmmm....she is a tidy person but l am a clean freak so cleaning her house was hard work, down on my hands and knees scrubbing her floors, sweat dripping off me. It is 40 degrees in the shade here in Bendigo. Still very therapeutic. Tracey time. Nobody to interrupt my hopes and dreams.

Thursday was another wasted day. I am just not motivated to do anything because l can not decide what to do with myself. I do not want to work 50 hours a week anymore. I am not even sure that l want to work anymore. The people l have worked for in my last two jobs have just used Tracey's ability to make them lots of money and have been so ungrateful. Why bother ? I know because l need to eat and pay bills. I hate going to the letterbox at the moment because there is just bills, bills and more bills. Ten Pin bowling went back tonight. That was pretty cool. I enjoy bowling. Mum and I bowl together on a Thursday night. It is our mother/daughter time.

Friday ! The only day really worth mentioning. My man came home. The weeks are so, so long with him away. I miss him terribly. We talk heaps but it just isn't the same as when he is home. It was lunchtime before l got to Christine's to finish cleaning. I just wanted to spent time with him while l could. He is going to have a busy weekend and not a lot of time for Tracey. Anyway, l now know why l am cleaning her house. Her daughter was home and she spend the three hours that l was there telling me how much she hates Christine's new boyfriend. How he has taken over the house. How worried she is about her Mum. I see now that l was sent there to clean so that Cherrie would have somebody to listen to her. Yep, a purpose to being on my hands and knee's other than praying. I hope I've made her feel better. I really did not want to know the ins and outs of her mother's relationship. As far as l was concerned, Christine and Jason were very happy and going to get married later in the year. I am going to stay out of the whole situation. Happy to listen to Cherrie but l am going to do nothing.....

The best news of the whole week, actually the best news in the last four months is that Centrelink have finally decided to process my application for a Carers Pension. Yes. That will take a little bit of the financial pressure off. Looking after two old people is not as easy as one would think. There are doctor appointments, the district nurse coming twice a week, the social worker coming to home once a week, meals to cook and arguments to referee. Thank God that Centrelink have now decided that perhaps l might need a little bit of help. The young man l spoke to at Centrelink was not very helpful and l have had to push them a little bit. They seemed to feel that l would be better off back working where l pay $800 a week tax to keep people on the dole in preference to being at home looking after my parents. Really, the system has got a lot to answer for. Thankfully somebody with some level of intelligence has been given my file and they have now approved my application. Apparently, they may even back pay me which would be nice but l am not holding my breath.