Expectations

The first day of a new job is always interesting. The butterflies in the stomach and all that stuff. Wondering if you are going to be good enough. Hoping that the other staff people are going to like you. So many new things to learn. Store procedures and company protocol. Figuring out everybody's expectations including my own.The day flew by and l think (l pray) that l have made the right choice. Time will tell. I need to think positively about my choice. I need to say "No" if l don't want to do something. The job will be what l make it.

I had a very big fight with lana tonight. I hate fighting with her. She always makes me feel so bad about myself. Her constant, "Dad said" is driving me mental. I do not care what that man has to say. I do not care what that man does. It is his 55 birthday tomorrow and l simply don't care. I left him six years ago and one of the main reasons l left him because l was sick of trying to live up to his expectations. I do not need lana placing his expectations or her expectations on me. I am what l am. Take it or leave it. If it isn't good enough, bad luck.